Orientation

Let me bring you up to speed.

I've been dating my boyfriend for two years and we met through work. I never wanted to date anyone who I met through work before, but it just happened. I also never wanted to date someone who was divorced and especially had kids. I feel like when you don't want something to happen or you say no to something, you just challenge the universe to make it happen.

I grew up in a traditional family and dating a man (not too much older than me) who used to be married and has kids is a big red flag. It took my parents about 6 months to get on board, and some of my extended family is still on the fence, for their own closed minded views.

Now my boyfriend, he is absolutely wonderful. He is supportive, funny, hard working, caring, loving father, and I could go on. Him and I grew up very differently. His parents were more laid back, and mine were more of helicopter parents. He is not very close with his family and I talk to my family probably once every two days. When we do "co-parenting" things, I tend to be a lot more strict, and he kind of brushes it off. I don't take too much offense to it, or at least I didn't used to. Now, its getting harder.

The kids are great and they like me a lot, and I like them too. They are growing up differently that I did and I sometimes find that hard. It's not the fact that they have two parents who don't live together it's their quality of life with their mother. It's that they only have one parent who is willing to go above and beyond to get them what they want, and it's their father. Their life at home revolves around their mothers life and her social plans. It tends to bug me, because I feel like as a parent - it should be the opposite.

I try not to be involved with the mother-father politics. I view myself as a support system for my boyfriend and for the children. I never speak ill of their mother, and don't try to "one up" her.

 Maybe, I was a very lucky child whose parents went above and beyond to let me do what I wanted, aka soccer, karate, volleyball, basketball etc. Where my parents put their social lives on hold to tote us around to our events.

It's a challenge to be in the position I am in. I love my boyfriend and I love his children but I know life would be easier if there wasn't this baggage. It's hard not to think that it'd be nice to not have the children around, but then when we're all having out good days I don't wish that at all.